I was so naïve about life and thought I could work hard and do everything myself. I didn’t want to depend on anyone and had a picture of what I wanted my future to look like. It was a picture of being successful in an earthly sense and not a Godly one. The perfect marriage, family, and career were on my horizons and I would get so frustrated when someone or something threatened that future. This often included me distancing myself when I was upset so I wouldn’t be hurt by others and I wouldn’t give anyone the opportunity to let me down. This mindset fueled anger and fear that caused me to be very critical of others. I wanted to control my surroundings and lashed out when my family put a dent in my plans. The truth is that everyone in our lives will disappoint us in some way or another. We are all human and are certainly not perfect.
Fear crept in as we struggled with money and I became fearful and anxious about our future. Our financial well-being often dictated my mood along with the cleanliness of our home, which to me was a direct reflection of my self-worth and comfort. This fear and anxiety caused tremendous problems between my husband and I which was felt by all of my children. While going through a rough transition at work and with my family I started saying daily confessions out loud from the Whole Health Club. Every time I felt anxious about our future I would read God’s truths and proclaim who I was in Christ. This gave me such peace and allowed me to wait on God to enact his perfect plan. It was truly amazing how God so perfectly worked everything out as I rested in Him. Within a few months we moved, my husband and I each started new jobs, and our three children started three new schools. I am so thankful for my Lord and my family!
Confession and meditation on God’s word has changed my life. God’s word is alive and active and is sharper than any double edged sword for taking down strongholds. During that difficult time in my life I also went through deliverance with Bonnie. I realized that many of those negative feelings and the hopelessness I was experiencing were not me but an evil that I had let into my life through my negative words. Deliverance was like a “spring cleaning” for my soul. I felt relieved and in a sense lighter and refreshed. Words truly do have the power of life and death, to tear down or to build up. Now I let the words I speak be guided by the Holy Spirit within me. I pray that there will be less of me and more of Him speaking through me.
Jesus alone is my salvation and peace. His perfect love casts out all fear. If God gave us His son Jesus, how much will He freely give us? Now I truly believe in my heart that I am righteous through Christ and not by my own works. When difficult situations arise I go straight to Jesus and know that He will work all things out for our good. Praise you Lord for your salvation and gift of perfect peace. God will take care of all of our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Lord, may your will be done and not mine. Your plan for my life is so much better than I can imagine. All glory to God in the highest!
Elaine
